The Lost Art of the Way-Too-Long Song Intro

I listen to the radio on my drive to and from work, and usually I find myself singing along with the oldies.

It's what I was raised on, and I generally just like the music more.

One thing I've noticed is that I get impatient when the songs have overly-long intros.
Feels like the song should start after the standard 8 beats, but it doesn't get going until way later.
Anybody else ever notice that?

Maybe our modern culture just can't wait for the actual song to get going, but I don't think we see it much in current pop music.

Here are two prime culprits from the oldies station:

Jet Airliner, by Steve Miller Band

You expect lyrics at 8 seconds, right? Nope, no soup for you until after the minute mark.

Dream Weaver, by Gary Wright

Lyrics at only 32 seconds in, but it feels like an eternity of twinkling chimes.

Can you guys think of any recent songs with me that employ the way-too-long intro?
Maybe they're more prevalent than I think, and I'm just not catching the new ones.

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We are Surrounded by Beautiful Women All the Time

It's true.

We might not notice it, or be able to see it right off, but it's 100% true.

Because every woman we see is absolutely beautiful.
Gorgeous women, exactly as they were created or evolved or however you believe humans came to be.
Old, young. Tall, short. Skinny, not skinny. Whatever trait you want to evaluate.

My friend Katie shared this AFI interview of Dustin Hoffman, speaking about his 1982 role in Tootsie.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

It took Dustin changing his appearance for a movie to learn this, and it's a powerful point.

Women, you are interesting. You're funny. You're amazing.
You have too many wonderful qualities to list here, actually.
And each and every one of you also happens to be beautiful.

You are just as you should be, and I hope all of us can start seeing that more plainly.

Note: I didn't share this to get brownie points with my female reader's or the female population at large. I fully believe the same is true for men, though to a lesser extent, as beauty isn't as important of a societal status symbol for us.

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More Like a Fail Mary... or ISO Train Companion

A few people have asked me (offline) what ever happened with my hail mary attempt.

So here's the answer:

Nothing.

I knew it was a long shot, so my expectations of success were low (though I still hoped).

Well, the pass wasn't a touchdown.
Actually, I can't be sure it was ever even received, since I didn't hear anything at all.

But such is life.

While I was thinking of her in Justin Timberlake lines:

I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me...

And I'll tell you baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you one I figured it out

You were right there all along

She was thinking of me in Taylor Swift lines:

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go talk to your friends talk

To my friends talk to me

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

And it was a hail mary, which rarely work out in either football or dating.
So I'm not too surprised.

To quote President Gordon B. Hinckley, 15th President of the LDS Church:

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.

The hail mary didn't pan out, but life goes on.
And I'm still looking for my train companion, because it's going to be a fantastic voyage when I find her.

So there's no need to feel bad for me, or worry about me, or any such thing.
I've grieved for the end of a relationship, as is painful but healthy, and life has now begun anew.

You know, I've never actually taken a cross-country train ride. Anyone want to join me?
I also accept referrals (maybe not in comments, please send me an email)...

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Agency: Every Soul is Free

One of the key doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a.k.a. Mormons, is agency, or the right of every person to make decisions and choose between good and evil.

Good and evil isn't always the choice, though. Sometimes the choice is between good and better, or better and best. But we still get to choose.

On Sunday, the music director in church picked a song for the opening number that I didn't even recognize. Maybe I've heard it before, but I can't recall that occasion if I have.

The hymn was #240, "Know This, That Every Soul Is Free".

Though a relatively short one, it conveys some deep lessons and its message struck me.

If you're an auditory learner, this is a men's choir singing the hymn: 

And for visual learners, here are the lyrics from the lds.org website:

1. Know this, that ev’ry soul is free
To choose his life and what he’ll be;
For this eternal truth is giv’n:
That God will force no man to heav’n.

2. He’ll call, persuade, direct aright,
And bless with wisdom, love, and light,
In nameless ways be good and kind,
But never force the human mind.

3. Freedom and reason make us men;
Take these away, what are we then?
Mere animals, and just as well
The beasts may think of heav’n or hell.

4. May we no more our pow’rs abuse,
But ways of truth and goodness choose;
Our God is pleased when we improve
His grace and seek his perfect love.

Interesting, no? That 3rd verse is a little strange, even though it's technically true.
I especially like the line "God will force no man to heav'n" and the whole second verse.
But I'm really loving the set-up right now.

"To choose his life and what he'll be;"

We make decisions, and then we have to live with the ramifications and results of those decisions. We can't choose the outcomes, especially when the agency of other people comes into play.

Sometimes the decisions others make will hurt us or change our world completely. Drunk drivers, terrorists, and those sorts of individuals will affect us, and we may not be able to avoid their poor decisions.

But we can choose our reactions to the situations we are in. Whether to become bitter or resentful or closed-off from the world and those around us who want the best for us. We choose how to react to everything in our life.

That is our agency.

If you've never read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl, you need to. ASAP.
Go get it at the library this week, and read it cover to cover.
He'll bring you to tears with his heartbreaking story, but also he'll convey the power of choosing your reactions to tough situations in a much better way than I probably ever could.

We make decisions, and hopefully we'll choose good over evil. And then outside forces will act on us, but we make the choice of how to react. My new goal is to focus on the positive and try to learn from tough situations, so I'll be better prepared to help others and cope with difficulty going forward.

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"The Truth About Guys" is Spot On

This guy Nate and I need to be friends.

His article "The Truth About Guys" is so right.

The difference between Nate and me is that I know who the girl is that I love.

Though, as you, my reader friends, know, there are complications.
And while I want my love to be as spotlessly clean as Nate describes it, I know real love is messy.

Another smart fellow, Tyler, wrote this great post "How I Know My Wife Married the 'Wrong' Person".
As easy as taking options #1-3 might be, I'd rather go with option #4.
Love is and will be hard. Really hard. Really, really hard at times.
But it's worth the effort, because the shiny moments with the girl you love are priceless.

Time to get to work.

PS Thanks to all of you for your support both off- and on-line after my last post. You are wonderful, and I'm not ready to give up just yet!

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Unprepared for a Great Love: Part 2

Emily, I'm sorry I wasn't prepared to be the man you deserved.

I blew it. Again. 

I know I did, and I take full responsibility for blowing it.

We Smyth boys (all boys?) aren't the smartest when it comes to recognizing love when it's in our arms.

Both of my married brothers dated incredible women, then broke up, and then later realized they'd messed up by breaking up and that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with those marvelous ladies. Fortunately for my brothers, their wives gave them another chance.

I'm apparently a little more stubborn, and it's taken me two breakups to figure out how to be the man I should have been all along. I knew I loved you after one breakup, but I still hadn't sorted out how to show it and communicate it and be patient when things didn't go exactly how I'd wanted them to in my head.

Now I just feel like these guys are singing my thoughts and emotions:

"Lego House" by Ed Sheeran

"When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars

And though I feel this way and I'd like it to be the case, I know it's a stretch to ask for at this point.
"We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz & K'naan vs Max Herre

Charity and love are closely related, and some versions of the Bible use the word "love" in 1 Cor. 13:4-7, which I find very apropos right now.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (source)

I've got a long way to go to live up to that kind of love, but I'll get there someday.

It's hard to admit, but you deserve better than I was. Maybe better than I'll ever be. You're an amazing woman, worthy of the very best in life and love. And I know the Lord has someone that's right for you, I just kinda feel and wish it could still be me.

Whatever happens or doesn't happen between us going forward, I know that I've been changed for the better and for good because I knew you.
"For Good" from the musical Wicked

Whoever it is that has the luck and lifelong joy to be your husband, I hope he buys you flowers, and holds your hand, and takes you to every party, because I sure do remember how much you love to dance.

Of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now.

I'll always love you, Emily, and I pray you find every happiness in life.

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"Life is Like a Mop"

Inspirational speeches come from all sorts of places.
I watch a fair amount of movies, so that's one of my primary sources.

For example, the blue-faced Braveheart rallying cry (link).
Or the Herb Brooks "beat the Russians" peptalk from Miracle (link).

But right now, I'm really taking to heart this motivational speech from a favorite childhood movie, UHF.

Because even though I may feel like my life is "full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff", it can be rinsed off and I can start all over again.

Side note: Awesome that "Battle Hymn of the Republic" is playing at the climax of his speech. I'd never verified it before, but the version used in the movie just so happens to be sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (source) with the Philadelphia Orchestra. Pretty cool, huh?

And so, friends and random readers, consider this my virtual standing up, going to the window, and yelling, "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

Anybody got a spare toothbrush?

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End of One Road, Beginning of Another

Looks like both cases from my 'Accepting What You Can't Change' post are decided.

#2 wasn't really in doubt. I don't anticipate him seeking reconciliation, as that'd require him admitting fault.

But today I was informed that #1 will not happen either. No reconciliation to be had in the future.

Which means I'll be eating the rest of these Raspberry-flavored Milanos tonight, since I don't feel like going to buy a gallon of ice cream:

I hate knowing that we'll no longer be in each other's lives, but having finality is a good thing as it allows for leaving it to God and moving on.

"What the future holds, I don't know
Gotta stand up, dust myself off,
Just for now, it's the end of the road."

Here's to new beginnings on a new road.

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Accepting What You Can't Change

I've had a couple big relationship things weighing heavily on my mind lately.

Not high profile to most people, even in my inner circle, but the situations are hard on me nonetheless.

The two cases have to do with apologies and the giving and receiving of forgiveness.

Case #1- I've apologized and I'm waiting to see what she decides to do. I was in the wrong, so she'll be fully justified in deciding to accept my apology or not. I'll understand either choice.

Case #2- I've apologized and tried repeatedly to mend our friendship, and it looks more and more like the person will not reciprocate apologies and allow us to continue as friends. He's shown to be stubborn and vindictive and bully-ish, so I can't see reconciliation happening.

So when a friend posted the link to this ThoughtCatalog article, it was a godsend to me:

"How to Accept What You Can't Change" by Brianna Weist

Its lessons - particularly #7 - support what I recently read in a book about apologies and forgiveness:

If your first attempt [at apologies/reconciliation] fails, I suggest you make a second and third attempt. An apology says, "I value this relationship, and I want to deal with this problem." The refusal to apologize says, "I do not value this relationship, and it's okay with me if we continue to be estranged." We cannot force an apology but we can extend the olive branch and express our willingness to forgive. If, in the final analysis, they are unwilling to restore the relationship, you may then release them to God and release your hurt and anger to Him. Don't allow their unwillingness to deal with the problem destroy your life. It takes two people to build a positive, healthy relationship.*

Once we've done our best to seek forgiveness, the ball is in the other person's hands.

In case #1, she can choose to accept my apology and forgive (maybe she already has), with or without the option of reconciliation. She would be justified either way. At this point, I can release my pain and hurt to God. Of course, my preference would be reconciliation between the two of us.

In case #2, I've done all I can do, and as I don't see any forgiveness occurring, I can release the relationship to God and move on. Sometimes friendships end. I suppose all relationships have a lifecycle, even ones that began half a lifetime ago in high school.

So now I can just allow things to happen as they may (for these cases) and accept what I can't change.

*Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, by Gary Chapman, pp 71-72. I highly recommend this whole book to anyone wanting healthier relationships, both before and after marriage. Lots of it can also be applied to improve friendships.

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'This is Water' is Great for Perspective Adjustment

This morning, my buddy Clint shared a video called 'This is Water' with me.

It's based on an excerpt from David Foster Wallace's 2005 commencement address at Kenyon College, and  its message was just what I needed to hear. My attitude needed an adjustment, and this hit the spot.

Yes, I realize it's 9 mins long, but watch it on your lunch break or something, because it's worth it.

Everyone's going through things, and we can't know their situations.

I'm going to work on choosing to see the water all around me.

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The Mailman Delivers... For Now

Even on a snowy Saturday in Salt Lake City, UT.

Guess the postal service hasn't stopped the Saturday service yet.

(That goes into effect as of August 2013, and I hope it won't still be snowing in SLC at that point.)

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My Stair-Climbing Theme Song

Today I took the stairs instead of the elevator.

Only 3 floors, but it'll add up over time, right?

Well, because everything is better with internal theme music, this was the tune in my head as I scaled those flights (and I intend to draw on Rocky often, particularly when the elevator is sounding really good at the end of a long day).

Do you have special theme songs for mundane, every day tasks you do?
Or is it just me that needs the extra motivation?

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Retiring My Favorite Jeans

Does everyone have a favorite pair of jeans?

Well I do.
Or perhaps I should say "I did."

Because they have reached that sad point of needing to be retired.

They'd reached that perfect level of comfort, as you can see by the worn marks from my cell phone (left leg) and keys (right leg) and served me well for quite some time.

The first time they almost died, I asked my mom to patch up the spot, and they survived another year or so. That was a tear under the leg, and wasn't really visible after she did her handiwork.

The death blow was dealt by a small worn-through spot right in the front. Cant' really patch that up, and can't hide it. So I think they've run their course.

Since they're beat up, I don't think it'd be appropriate to give them to DI or Salvation Army or any place like that. I was going to just chuck them, but that seems like a terrible waste.

Looks like there are some interesting recycled denim Pinterest ideas, but I'm not too crafty when it comes to fabrics and sewing...

How should I use them? Anybody have a viable suggestion?

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A Solid Music Morning

Some mornings get started off on the right foot, and music is usually a big part of that for me.

Here's what I woke up to on my randomized iPod mix:
Tupac "2 of Americaz Most Wanted"

Fun fact: at one time, I could recite entire songs of Tupac lyrics. Maybe I should work on that again...

Beach Boys "Surfin' USA"

Fun fact: I used to listen to Beach Boys on the way to triathlons, in order to amp myself up.

With those two songs starting my day, how could I not be energized?

PS Honorable mention goes to Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight", which I heard as soon as I got in the car.

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Maintaining 9/11 Unity and Patriotism

I was in a foreign land when the 9/11 attacks occurred.

There is a helplessness in being so far away while your countrymen are suffering.
But I knew that people in Ohio and New Mexico and Mississippi and all over my homeland probably felt the same as I did.

And in that desperate moment, our country came together in a way only heartache can cause.

It unified us.

On Sunday, a speaker in church talked about how the Great Depression and WWII galvanized that American population. Their dedication to this country justly earned them Tom Brokaw's praise as 'The Greatest Generation'.

When terrorists carried out their plot eleven years ago, they undoubtedly thought it would be a severe blow to our national pride. While the shocking brutality of their methods may have briefly accomplished that goal, our citizens bounced back with an even greater surge of patriotism and love of country.

So today, as we remember the tragedy of 9/11 in the midst of a political season, I pray that we'll remember we are all Americans, citizens of the United States.

I hope we'll treat each other as fellow patriots.
Even if we don't agree in our opinions, let's be respectful in our discourse.

Let's maintain the unity so tragically awoken in us through lost American lives on 9/11.

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The USADA - Lance Armstrong's Persistent, and Sadly Successful, Bully

Dear USADA,
I hate your stupid face. At this point, I don't even care if Lance doped. His personal life wasn't perfect. Maybe he was even a jerk. But if you couldn't find one positive drug test or shred of evidence in 13 years, then you failed, not him. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Lance made Americans care about cycling, and he's been an unparalleled force for cancer research and its awareness. All you've done is weaken my faith in your intentions and ability as a governing body.
With all my broken heart,
A cycling fan

You'll always have 7 TdF titles in my book

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A Hospital for Sinners

This quote strikes me right now.

"The church is a hospital for sinners, not just a museum for saints."
                                                       -Vance Havner (1901-1986)

All too often, we feel like we have to be 100% perfect, and, while that's a worthy goal, it just isn't realistic.

We strive daily to be better than the day before, but there will be bumps and bruises along the way.

I'm okay with that.

I am working on not getting down on myself for having flaws and weaknesses, and also on accepting others as they are and loving them for who they are, not for the perfect vision of them that I imagine.

Perfection is the goal, not a state of current being that we're trying to maintain.

I hope this makes a little bit of sense. Maybe I'm just rambling.

In short, I'm striving to be better today than I was yesterday, and we've all got a long way to go, right?

And the journey is a lot more enjoyable with someone by your side.

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How to Keep Kids Healthy (Good for Adults, Too)

I read this article today from Yahoo, and it made me wonder how much healthier we as adults would be if we followed this simple advice for children.

6 Ways to Stay Healthy

1. Wash your hands: 15-20 seconds (sing the Happy Birthday song twice)
2. Be active every day: regular, moderate exercise (you don't have to be training for a marathon)
3. Get plenty of sleep: I bet getting 7 hours would be a major improvement for most people
4. Avoid touching your face: this goes along with the hand-washing in #1
5. Consume a balanced and healthy diet: colorful fruits and veggies are delicious!
6. Get the flu vaccine: this is pretty self-explanatory, and doesn't insurance cover some of the cost?

Who wants to try this out with me? Maybe a one-month trial period?

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Unprepared for a Great Love

Why is it that we often don't understand what we had, and how great it was, until it's too late?

Not that we always do that. But sometimes we do. And sometimes it's painful to realize that what we didn't properly value at the time could have been a life-changer.

While this can be the case with job opportunities, stock investments, travel choices, and many others, I think we see it most clearly in matters of the heart, don't we?

I had a great opportunity with a woman that I like-liked, and I blew it.

Just that simple.

It was right in front of me, and, for a myriad of reasons, I wasn't prepared for what may have been the most important choices and love of my life.

That sucks to recognize, when it now may be too late.

A part of me still hopes there is a chance at reconciliation and a return to us, as I now feel prepared to love fully and make the sacrifices and changes necessary to be the man she wants and deserves.

If that isn't enough, then so be it.

I am and will be ready.

My next chance, I don't want to be caught unprepared for a great love.

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Why I Don't Wash My Car As Often As I Should

Because as soon as I do, a bird will poop right on it.

Washed at 5:30 pm. Dirty by 7:30 pm.

And I know I'm not the only one this happens to. Right?

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